a year has gone

i have been in bali officially for a year on 20th August 2010.....time fly's by really fast....so many has happened....so many things i wanna remember and i wanna forget....those who were my best frenz are now just batchmates....i learned to not trust anyone....n those who put me through hell or the ones i never knew i would even say hi are actually the pillar who are holding my body up....no one can stay strong for long....i remember those days where i was the bully and no one dared to step on me....i guess my mums wishes came true...i actually forgot how to get mad at ppl....so many stupid things happened around me...n yet i choose to keep quiet....i choose to take the silent path...i was always a fan of GANDHI...but seriously this is weird....i guess life hardens u as u learn....i learned a lot about how to be snake headed....one thing my elder sis always to me to be...its hard to be snake headed wen u only have a human head...hehehe....my sister was right....ppl can be nasty....n trust me i learn that the hard way....no matter wat i do im still not good enough for sum ppl....so i made my mind up...keeping myself n those who love me happy is my only goal...i dont wan to be accepted by some for something im not....coz sooner or later my makeup will fade...n they will know the real me...at the same time those who love me are always beside me even when im in my worst condition....those are the ppl i want to b there for....coming bali has changed my life so much....im still dumd here n there....n im still blur (abit only)....but i kno i have changed....and i kno one thing....do not trust anyone no matter wat happens....too bad my 1st bond with my frenz is trust....i kno those who i love neva broke it...and they wont break it too...but to those who have already broken it....dnt waste ur tym....I'LL SHOW U THE WAY OUT OF MY HEART....FUCK OFF ASSHOLES....i will c u burn soon.....

parents = GOD

everyone keep asking me the same question....

why do i choose not to believe in god....

the answer is simple.....

u choose to believe coz u wanna feel secure that someone is watching over u.....

i choose not to believe coz i know i have someone watching over me....

you have never seen or felt god....

but i see, fell, fight, argue with my god....

if u say god created angels to protect us...

i would say my parents created my siblings to protect me (but actually im the one protecting them most of the time)...hehehe....

for me god does not exist....

i was created out of love....

and that love had nothing to do with god....

that love was only between my dad n my mum...

so in my perception my parents are my god....

life is filled with choices and opinion....

this is my opinion....i aint doing anything wrong...

even though my parents would not want me to take them as my god....

im not gonna buy that...coz they actually can agree to the fact they are not perfect...

my parents can have their flaws...but no matter what happens....

even if the apocalypse comes.....they are always perfect in my eyes....

MY PARENTS = MY GOD....

im not brainwashing u to not believe in god....

but maybe u should all think of believing in those in front of u....

who u can actually make things matter...

and than put god in the picture....

just because u say u believe in god that does not make u his number one child...

n just because i believe in my parents i know i wont be their number one child....

but there is one thing i know....parents dont have numbers for their children....

im always 1st just like my siblings...we all are different in our own ways...

n they love us just the way we are...

god did not wake up at night to feed us wen we cried....

or wipe our ass wen u pooped.....

our parents did....so they are more then god to me...

every cell is my body says i luv u mum....i luv u dad....

i dont need god....when i have two angels(mum and dad) watching over me...