girl without balls....

yes i blast music...i dance like crazy....im not afraid kick a guy... n im not afraid to back out from a fight...if u wanna have a try plz come... dont think u can aspect mercy from me... n by the way if all this makes u think im not a girl... sad to tell u im a girl just without balls.... u are definitely not the 1st i hit and u will never be the last...

u need to get something straight....girls might look weak, sweet, like flowers....but plz i dare u to make them explode... only then u will kno the feeling of ur balls running n hidding inside your body... TRUST ME.... JUST GIVE IT A TRY....

u guys are not superior to us.... u guys are just the same.... with the same feelings.... with the fear.... we are equal....plz try to get that in your 1gram brain....

u have no idea what's going on in my head

So yes... I had some time to think... N I have decided To put everything aside... Im just going to live in the moment... Which means I got to stop kidding myself with all this dreams... So coming back to reality... I am very disappointed to say that my heart is not as strong as it used to...

Its a surprise to me too... I thought I was strong enough... I'm in love...but yes everyone knows that... But now I'm looking at things more physical... N I realize that love has nothing to do with it... Its just different now... I wish I could open up more but that would just be mean... Its not that I love the person but its the intimacy that I miss... That few hours together... Things are so casual... Like I don't have to put out to the world....

I just have to stay me... N that we don't enjoy talking about our problems... Its just about the moment... Although it has to come to an end soon... I'm gonna try enjoy it while I can...

i just need some air....

im in desperate need of a distraction.... days are passing by and im drowning.... journals, patient write ups, presentations, case reports, follow ups and not forgetting the people that i work with.... there is no time for peace...im on the run 24 hours 7 days a week... i love the pressure but sometimes it does get under your skin.... my body is running more on caffeine then blood....

everyone seem to have something planned out for me.... from the car i should buy.... the residential area im should live in.... the place i should apply for housemanship... the ppl i should and should not talk to... not forgetting the field i should specialize in.... y cant i do things my way...

if u dont mind coming to me for advice on whats going on in your body.... y cant u trust me enough to let me make my decision for my life.... i just need my space.... some air to think.... and some peace and quiet... i cant be doing whats best for others all the time.... i got to keep myself happy too...

im caving to their needs.... when right now the only bloody thing i should be doing is satisfying  myself.... its just so frustrating at times that i end up screaming to myself.... YOUR WEAK THUVI.... some dare say that to me.... it wont take me one second to put u where your supposed to be.... but what do i get out of that... a destroyed relationship...wow what a big achievement...

sometimes i wish i could be my old self... let my hands talk rather than my mouth... but then again i get stuck in another dillema.... some ppl think its easy being me.... that im care free enough to let u step me on my head.... that im nice enough to take all the crap you throw at me.... not to be rude but im the least person u wanna mess with.... its a gift to walk away from a fight.... n im not stupid enough to fight n make a scene... one day u will know how is it to be me... as u all always come back to me n say THUVI U WERE RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING, I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED...