praying for PEACE.....

it has been long that i have blogged...

so many things has happened....

n i dont know where to start....

being alone is a gift or a misfortune...

in my experiences...

i have seen it both ways...

everything around me is fine...

thats what ppl make me believe...

but i know the truth...

nothing is ever fine...

everyone is under sum kinda of pressure....

im under a few...

putting up a smile even though your crying inside does not mean your fake...

it juz means u dont wan ppl to know your burden...

smiling at ppl u hate....

brings a very pleasant feeling...

u make them think what are u up too...

but in my heart...i dont hate anyone...

nor do i want someone dead...

anger speaks alot of unwanted things....

if everyone take them literally...

earth will be hell...

i simply wan things to go bak to normal...

where the only thing i saw was love and friendship...

but i guess the place i stay in right now...

will never let that happen....

i just wish everyone was nice to everyone....

thats the only thing i pray for...

PEACE.....

a year has gone

i have been in bali officially for a year on 20th August 2010.....time fly's by really fast....so many has happened....so many things i wanna remember and i wanna forget....those who were my best frenz are now just batchmates....i learned to not trust anyone....n those who put me through hell or the ones i never knew i would even say hi are actually the pillar who are holding my body up....no one can stay strong for long....i remember those days where i was the bully and no one dared to step on me....i guess my mums wishes came true...i actually forgot how to get mad at ppl....so many stupid things happened around me...n yet i choose to keep quiet....i choose to take the silent path...i was always a fan of GANDHI...but seriously this is weird....i guess life hardens u as u learn....i learned a lot about how to be snake headed....one thing my elder sis always to me to be...its hard to be snake headed wen u only have a human head...hehehe....my sister was right....ppl can be nasty....n trust me i learn that the hard way....no matter wat i do im still not good enough for sum ppl....so i made my mind up...keeping myself n those who love me happy is my only goal...i dont wan to be accepted by some for something im not....coz sooner or later my makeup will fade...n they will know the real me...at the same time those who love me are always beside me even when im in my worst condition....those are the ppl i want to b there for....coming bali has changed my life so much....im still dumd here n there....n im still blur (abit only)....but i kno i have changed....and i kno one thing....do not trust anyone no matter wat happens....too bad my 1st bond with my frenz is trust....i kno those who i love neva broke it...and they wont break it too...but to those who have already broken it....dnt waste ur tym....I'LL SHOW U THE WAY OUT OF MY HEART....FUCK OFF ASSHOLES....i will c u burn soon.....

parents = GOD

everyone keep asking me the same question....

why do i choose not to believe in god....

the answer is simple.....

u choose to believe coz u wanna feel secure that someone is watching over u.....

i choose not to believe coz i know i have someone watching over me....

you have never seen or felt god....

but i see, fell, fight, argue with my god....

if u say god created angels to protect us...

i would say my parents created my siblings to protect me (but actually im the one protecting them most of the time)...hehehe....

for me god does not exist....

i was created out of love....

and that love had nothing to do with god....

that love was only between my dad n my mum...

so in my perception my parents are my god....

life is filled with choices and opinion....

this is my opinion....i aint doing anything wrong...

even though my parents would not want me to take them as my god....

im not gonna buy that...coz they actually can agree to the fact they are not perfect...

my parents can have their flaws...but no matter what happens....

even if the apocalypse comes.....they are always perfect in my eyes....

MY PARENTS = MY GOD....

im not brainwashing u to not believe in god....

but maybe u should all think of believing in those in front of u....

who u can actually make things matter...

and than put god in the picture....

just because u say u believe in god that does not make u his number one child...

n just because i believe in my parents i know i wont be their number one child....

but there is one thing i know....parents dont have numbers for their children....

im always 1st just like my siblings...we all are different in our own ways...

n they love us just the way we are...

god did not wake up at night to feed us wen we cried....

or wipe our ass wen u pooped.....

our parents did....so they are more then god to me...

every cell is my body says i luv u mum....i luv u dad....

i dont need god....when i have two angels(mum and dad) watching over me...

how stupid is love......

love is not that magical after all......

i still remember the stories where love can concur everything....

i guess those stories where BIG FAT LIES....

in a relationship love does nt work everything out....

love is just a excuse to stick together....

love is like a death rope....

how can u love sumone without trust.....

how can u love sumone without respect....

how can u love sumone without dignity.....

if love means giving up urself....

then i rather give up love.....

ppl are born the way they are.....

changing that is changing who they are....

their personality and their uniqueness.....

its better to live without love than to live with out knowing who u really are...

love urself b4 loving sumone else....

at least than u might understand the real meaning of being loved n loving........

Im HIGH.....always HIGH

without you my life does not go on....

i need you to move ahead everyday of my life.....

many people may say your not good for me....

but i know how much you mean to me....

i would never want to lose you......

being alone here is miserable enough....

having you makes things easier.....

thanks for always being beside me.....

thanks for being hot n cold just when i need you too....

you make my day.... having you 5 times a day....

is still not enough for me....

i admit im a COFFEE ADDICT.....

i LOVE you my dear COFFEE....whether your black or white....

HAPPY FATHER's DAY.......

To my dear dad....

i am the luckiest girl in this world to get a dad like you.....

everything about you makes me feel good....

im actually very jealous of amma...

i wonder at times....

will i have a happy family like yours....

im glad to be a part of your family....

your the best thing that god has gave me....

no one and nothing else can replace you.....

i have practically made alot more havoc at home compared to the others....

but yet its pretty obvious that you trust me more day by day....

you never gave up on me....

you always made me feel free....

i did things my way...n i made lots of mistakes....

mistakes are good teachers.... but i would have not known that if its not for you....

you make my world feel save....

i cannot see a guy who can be more prefect than you....

you were always my best friend...im more then blessed to have you by my side....

i love you appa....

you will always be the 1st guy i feel in love with....

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE = MY DAD

P.S: I Love You and Always Will....HAPPY APPA'S DAY

ur daughter,

Thuvija Darshni Govindev

true love neva does die

Love is real, real is love
Love is feeling, feeling love
Love is wanting to be loved

Love is touch, touch is love
Love is reaching, reaching love
Love is asking to be loved

Love is you
You and me
Love is knowing
We can be

Love is free, free is love
Love is living, living love
Love is needing to be loved

1970 - John Lennon

this is all i have to say to him who i dearly love...

ur real and i can feel u....ur perfume sways my eyes looking for u...

ur breathe make my heart skip a beat...

ur all i need....ur love is all i need...i was brought to life to be loved....

TO BE LOVED BY U....only u

ICF and his bday

6 june 2010.....was a long day for me......it was his bday....i stayed awake till 12am juz so i could wish him....well due to the financial crisis im having....i din really top up extra to talk to him...i made it short....i was glad that i was the 1st to wish him...but its nothing great since i spoiled his day....after starting my day with a birthday wish....i got sum rest since it is a big day...ICF was taking place....i had to draw a huge kolam....then i had my members help to decorate it with coloured rice.....after that i had to play tarik tali....it was awesome....since we won....n then cums the night event....everyone dressed up so well....i guess i was juz not feeling that well do play dress up....i wore a old crap i had.....i was a part of the fashion show....so i had my cwet frenz grab a plate for me...while i was on stage modelling the cultural outfit that i was wearing....after that..i did wat i ws gud at....eating.....while eating i watched few performance....sum i njoyed...n sum that made me sleep....i would not say it was a day i wont forget....but it did make a mark....

a small short guy with a big fat mouth

y do i have to support ppl n get into trouble......a small conversation....which was general statement....turned out to be a total disaster wen a bitchy guy has to go n open his big fat mouth n tell that i actually meant the statement on sumone.....for a small guy he seriously has a big mouth....i hate it wen a guy gossips......for his size im very sure he cant find any game....so gossip is like his game la....ish.....so annoying.....how dumb can u be....it was a general statement.....n did not mean it on anyone...n more over i was practically supporting the ppl who u claim i bad mouth about.....next tym wen u wanna do all this hypocrite work y dont u think of this....im a small man...i should not mess with a big gurl....n by the way no wonder u dnt hv a gf....who would want to be with a guy like u.....mind it.....

the differences between fairy tale n reality

FAIRYTALE	REALITY
1) u fall in love with one guy n marry him	1) u fallin love with one guy, have sex with two guys, and u get married to a stranger
2) u have one mother and one father	2) u have one mother who is sleeping not with ur father…n u have one father who is sleeping whit ur mothers sister…
3) animals help u design a beautiful dress	3) animals shit everywhere
4) prince charming cares oni about u	4) prince charming cares everything about u except for ur feelings
5) prince charming cums galloping for ur resque	5) prince charming runs away using the nearest KTM wen he hears there is trouble
6) one love	6) love all
7) love is blind since everyone looks gud n charming	7) love is not blind…it looks at money, looks and dressing….
8) Cinderella wears a glass slippers	8) Cinderella wears JAPAN slippers
9) Cinderella is a perfect housewife	9) Cinderella is a perfect shopaholic
10) there is always a happy ending	10) happy ending does not exist

Scorpio Woman(24th October to 22nd November)

Scorpio Woman(24th October to 22nd November)

The beauty of a Scorpio woman is exceptional, mysterious and totally magnetic. She knows that and is proud of herself. She will control her wish to dominate and will let a man lead in a relationship, atleast during courtship. She knows how to hypnotize a man and gets successful, more often than not. Don't expect a Scorpio female to rush into your arms in front of a thousand people and shout her feelings at the top of her voice. Instead, she will come close to you, glance at you in a sensual way and whisper the most romantic words in a seductive tone.

If you are not sincere with your feelings, don't even try to get close to a Scorpio girl. With those beautiful, penetrating eyes of hers, she can read exactly what is on your mind. She can easily make out your real intentions, so Don't Flirt. It will amount to insulting her and I assure you, insulting her is not at all good for your health. Even when her tone is soothing, her disposition kind and her smile generous, she can be planning the most powerful retaliation. When a Scorpio woman is insulted or gets hurt, her fury knows no bounds.

Then, she can become the most hard-hearted and most sarcastic person on this earth. If she loves with fierce devotion, she hates with devastating malice. If you are really in love with her, then you need to know more about her. She has a very hypnotic gaze and the moment her eyes meet your, you will go tumbling down in her deep passion. Being noticed by a Scorpio female definitely gives a boost to a man's ego. She needs a man who is stronger than she is and weakness in him won't get her sympathy at all.

He will be expected to behave like a real man, who can dominate her and make her proud. At the same time, he should respect her individuality. He should be better looking than average, with an intellect, philosophical and totally masculine. He must also be ambitious and able to handle tough situation with poise. After she gets committed, a Scorpio female will shower you with all her love and attention. Her whole life will start revolving around you and she will be extremely loyal and exceedingly passionate.

She is passionate with everything that is related to her. It is almost impossible for her to have neutral feelings. Either she will deeply cherish or fiercely hate. If any of the feelings are not experienced, she will become completely indifferent towards it. Scorpio women, however, never let these feelings show. Her expression will always remain neutral, betraying nothing. Her anger is very bad and it's better to get out of her way when it gets out of hand. Her characteristics profile will make her storehouse of secrets, but people wouldn't know any of hers.

Her personal life will be out of bounds for everyone. At the same time, she will never tell the secrets that have been confided in her, not even to you. Even with you, she will have a private part and its better not to pry. That does not mean she is dishonest. Infact, she will be so brutally honest that, at times, she may hurt people in the process. Like a typical Scorpio, she will choose her friends very carefully and the credible ones will remain with her throughout her life. She will never maintain a relationship with unworthy people.

Determination and will power are her basic personality traits. She can use them anytime to come out of anything that is negative. If you have been able to win the true love of a Scorpio female, you can be sure you will never feel lonely again. She will be totally devoted to you and even if you two don't get married for any reasons beyond your control, her love for you will not change. She is one of those who believe in the phrase 'Till Death Do Us Apart'. Rather than overshadowing her husband, she believes in supporting him.

'Behind every successful man, there is a woman'; this idiom is perfect in case of the husband who has a Scorpio wife. For her, the future, the happiness and the dreams of her husband hold the supreme importance. She will always defend him fiercely in public and won't take nicely to anyone taking advantage of him. She will always encourage him to reach for the stars, build his courage and never let him turn back from midway. Scorpio women love their homes and keep them spic and span.

Now comes the dangerous part. A Scorpio girl is extremely jealous and fiercely possessive of her loved ones. She is prone to suspicions; so don't give reasons to be doubtful of you. On the other hand, you will have to control your jealousy, since she will be attracting a lot of members of the opposite sex. She also dislikes being possessed by anyone, including you. In such a scenario, just remember that a Scorpio woman will always be loyal and devoted to you, even in the worst of circumstances.

And then, you know you cannot leave her and it is better to adjust to such a trifle thing. Nobody walks away from a Scorpio, right? As far as money is concerned, she will enjoy it whether she saves it in a piggy bank or splurges it on luxurious things. She is very conscious of her social standards and will never compromise in case of status. She likes power and will sacrifice money and many other things for it. She seems to be very practical, but inside she is very emotional. Like all Scorpios, she will not see any viewpoint in case of her own emotions.

A Scorpio female has a sense of fairness and justice. If you don't wish her good morning one day after a fight, she will do the same for the next four days. The same goes for generosity also. If you do one kind deed for her, she will do four in return. As a mother, she will extremely possessive of her children and will care for them. However, she may not express her love openly and this is something you will have to teach her. She will make them independent, fair, strong and proud of themselves, the way she is of them. She will encourage them to develop their innate talents and make sure they don't go unnoticed.

A Scorpio woman can drown you in her passion. But then, she can also bring you to safety when the raft becomes too dicey. She can provide you her calm and steady support in the worst of circumstances. Once you win her love, you will never be lonely again. Your food will be perfectly baked and she will grind fresh coffee for you. You will always come back to a spotless home, radiating with the aura of her magnetic personality, the charm of her deep beauty and the warmth of her everlasting love!

hectic !!!!!!!!!!!

i have so many things goin on right now....

1) i have a function on the 6th of may.....indian cultural day

2) his bday is on the same day.....if u kno who im talkin about

3) i have a fashion show.

4)a kolam design.

5)a card board to design....

6) i have a freakin exam on the 14th jun

i hope i can find the tym.....